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me on my way home from class: oh man i'm gonna get so much work done let me make a to do list and get that shit done quickly and effectively i'm so pumped
me the second i get home: nah

snakelikecharmer:

parisjemm:

A relationship is like a house

If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.

Unless that house is a lying whore

Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.

This took the best possible turn.

fangirlingemma:

when you pass an exam you expected to fail

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hohohobutmadefashion:

when two of your friends get into an argument and they both try to drag you in for support and you’re like

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